Some Perspective

Being away from home really makes you appreciate home.  Before now, I'd never really been away from home without any friends or family for more than two weeks (except for Field Training, but you don't really get time for reflection there).  Now with thousands of miles and about 5 weeks introspection between me and everything I've ever know, man there are some really amazing things back home that you really can't find anywhere else in the world.

Last nights hanabi festival was really fun, but aside from praying at the shrine and buy things there wasn't really anything to do.  And the fireworks were pretty, but they were just fireworks and they were  in the middle of the city so it was difficult to see them well.

Also, never ending seas of people

The 4th of July festival at Stone Mountain on the other hand never disappoints.  My family would go early every year to secure our spot on the lawn. We would rotate turns holding down the fort, so everyone could enjoy all the attractions at the park before the show started. And it was really a show. Since the mountain is white and flat like a projector screen, it happens to be the perfect place to have a laser light display.  It may be cheezy, but it's a whole lot of fun!  The fireworks afterword are hard to beat too, since the mountain is a perfect backdrop reflecting all the light and color from the explosions. But honestly where else can you find such a perfect place to view fireworks? Now every time I see fireworks I compare it to those wonderful memories.

Before coming to Japan, I couldn't wait to have authentic udon and sushi and see what other wonders I could find here.  I did find some that I know I'll have cravings for when I'm back stateside like dango with anko topping (sweet rice-flour ball with red bean topping) and umeshu (plum liqueur), but there are a lot of things that surprised me.  It seems like it's very expensive to bring meat into Japan, so the meat (even fish) quality here is typically low.  That means the typical sushi here is fairly average.  And though my host mom raves about all the veggies I'm getting, I could barely choke down her eggplant because it was over cooked and heavily seasoned with salt and vinegar.  Thankfully though, I told her I don't eat mayo before she loaded it onto my salad.

Rib-cage style sweat markings from sitting in class.

Maybe what surprised me most is the A/C here.  A typical greeting here is either sumimasen (excuse me) or atsui-ne (hot isn't it), but no matter how hot it gets Japanese people are convinced that A/C is to expensive to run.  It's certainly more expensive than in the US because they have such inefficient units, but when your whole family is sitting in their underwear "sweating it out,"maybe it's worth it.  Japan is in many ways a country of cutting edge technology, but while my parents house out in the country doesn't have heated toilet seat it is the perfect temperature year round.

Hanabi and Japanese Relationships

Today, I got to go to Japan's largest Hanabi or fireworks festival!  Of course I love fireworks, but mostly I wanted to see what a Japanese festival is like.  This one was really done up right!  Just like in America there was stall after stall selling little trinkets, traditional snacks, desserts, and fried concoctions, but there were also some things that I don't really associate with fairs like people lining up to pray at the shrine or all the young people decked out in yukata, which is the light-weight summer kimono.  It's a different and interesting take on what makes up a festival.

Festivals here, like in America, are also really good places to take your date.  They're cheap, fun, pressure free, and can take up a whole day.  So of course, I saw lots of young Japanese couples walking around in there yukata, but it made me think of the married couples here because they are who I mainly hear about.

My first week here my host mom told me Japanese housewives are very patient; they wait until their husband retires to divorce him so they can get half of his pension.  Actually, one of her friends had been wanting a divorce for so long that when she got Alzheimer's at an early age she just assumed she was divorced.  The situation seems to be pretty common since none of my friend's host parents are in happy relationships.  One couple said they got married because they both worked at the same firm and it was practical, another said that they just pretend to be happy so their kids don't know, and mine actually are divorced.

One couple explained it this way:  Japanese men change after they get married.  Once they've got the girl they don't have to try anymore and instead they focus on their careers and make their coworkers their new family.  They don't care how their wives are feeling and they don't want their wives to do anything outside of the house without permission first.  Including simple things like having lunch with friends or taking the kids to the pool.  They do, however, care a lot about their children.  Anytime they're home they will spend time with their kids and any free time they have is usually spent to enrich their children's education.

Even my host mom's sister who is in her 60s can't have friends over unless her husband is away!  I can't imagine living that kind of life in this day and age, but everyone I talk to says that's really how it is here.  Now I understand why people say no one wants to marry a Japanese man.

Japanese Business Models

Today I was walking to school, chatting with a  friend when we both heard a strange sound.  To me (because I don't know any Arabic) it sounded like the Muslim call to prayer.  It had that same slow, melodic chanting sound, but I didn't really think there were any mosques around or that the Japanese would allow that to be played on a regular day, so we looked for the source.

I felt so dumb.  We were standing right in front of it.  It was an ice cream truck.  Once I knew that, the chant sounded a lot like "a-i-su ku-ri-mu."  And that's a fine thing to chant when you are selling ice cream in Japan, but maybe through some bells in there, liven it up a little.  Your target audience isn't Opera attendees and wine aficionados; it's small children and nostalgic college kids like me.

The people who know their market are the maid cafes and the nomihoudai (all you can drink) places.  If you want to go to one of these places it's best to ask around and see where other people have already gone, this way you can avoid the famous "gaijin trap."

This was a sneaky shot because you're not allowed to take pictures of the maids.

Outside of a gaijin trap (like at many restaurants here) there will be an usher to invite you in.  This person will tell you how much it costs to eat/drink at their restaurant, but that's all they will be able to say in Japanese.  And wow the price is so cheap!  Much better than the rip off we saw down the street! And then they have you, because at the end of the meal they can pretty much charge you what ever they want and chalk it up to a misunderstanding.  They know you won't be able to fight them because you don't know how to say it in Japanese and you don't know what your legal limits are.  Now you're stuck paying a $200 bill for three drinks because you didn't know about the entry fee, the table fee, the gratuity, and the bar fee.  That's what really happened to one of my friends here last week.

Tokyo Standouts

Every country has its rebellious youth who want to break free of the chains society puts on them.  It's not that uncommon to see teens and college kids with bright pink hair and gauged ears where I live, but they don't go to much further because, well, it's expensive.  If you wear clothes that most people shy away from then you have to go to specialty shops that can't afford to have low prices.

I knew before even coming here, though, that the counter-culture movement in Japan is truly dedicated.  When the girls here dress up they go all out with parasols, long gloves, old fashioned corsets, hoop skirts, amazing wigs, full make up, and every accessory you can think of.  And they just walk down the street like that.  Maybe they're just showing off to see what kind of attention they can get or maybe they're actually going to some kind of meeting, I certainly don't know, but man did they put a lot of effort and money into make a statement while they're walking.

While these girls are amazing to me, I did at least expect them.  What I didn't expect is the middle-aged people who also are looking to make a statement on the street (usually after working hours though.)  On more than one occasion I have walked past the most obvious cross dressers imaginable.  I'm talking about hairy dudes with big bellies wearing bright purple wigs,  ill-fitting dresses, cheap heals, too much lipstick, and far too much eyeshadow.  Maybe I've lived a sheltered life, but it's hard for me to imagine that just a an hour before these same men were one of the thousands of generic salarymen wearing standard business suits.  They probably think the same thing "during the day I'm just a run of the mill businessman, but at night I'm something so much better: me."

I'm not sure if that's what the 60 year old lady was thinking when I passed by her in broad day-light.  She looked a little tired, not matter-of-fact and stoic like the guys.  I don't know where she was coming from but her wig was curly blond and half way off her head, she was wearing a mini-skirt and fishnets, and didn't seem to have much make-up on at all.  From that description I could draw all kinds of conclusions, but honestly it's not my place.  The realities of life here seem to be rather harsh.